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| Fall in Love, Stay in Love | 
 enlarge | List Price: $18.99
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Avg. Customer Rating:  (based on 12 reviews)
Sales Rank: 106390
Category: Book
Author: Willard F. Harley Jr.
Publisher: Revell
Studio: Revell
Manufacturer: Revell
Label: Revell
Languages: English (Original Language), English (Unknown), English (Published)
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 256
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.2
Dimensions (in): 9.1 x 6 x 1.1
ISBN: 0800717937
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.81
EAN: 9780800717933
ASIN: 0800717937
Publication Date: September 1, 2001
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
Dr. Harley's blockbuster book His Needs, Her Needs has helped more than a million couples meet each other's needs and fall in love all over again. But that's only part of what makes a spectacular marriage, according to Harley. To stay in love, couples must protect each other and the love they've created. Harley fans have already been introduced to the Love Bank, emotional needs, Love Busters, and fair negotiation. So how do these key concepts work together to strengthen marriages? Fall in Love, Stay in Love has the answer--a complete, step-by-step overview that will leave fans saying "aha!" and new readers ready for more from this respected author. In his new book, Harley promises that if couples are willing to form habits that create love and control instincts that destroy it, they can have the love-filled marriages they've always wanted. Then he sits down with readers to guide them through his tried and proven plan. With profound insights, probing questions, and practical action steps, the man who has helped save scores of marriages leads readers down the road to a love that lasts a lifetime.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 7 more reviews...
 Lina May 3, 2008
0 out of 6 found this review helpful
Since I didn't even receive it, this book sucks. I mean talk about BAD service.
 Best Marriage Enhancement Book on the Market March 24, 2008
My marital relationship is the most important relationship in my life. While my husband and I have always loved each other, we would occasionally experience some painful bumps in the road of our marital bliss.
I have read dozens and dozens of books on marriage. My husband read several with me. There were helpful suggestions, but nothing earth shattering. This book changed all that. Our marriage is the best that it's ever been and we are happier than we were on our honeymoon.
IMO, this is the best book on marriage that exists, and I've read most of them. You must both be willing to change, but if you are willing to do that, then you can have the marriage you always dreamed was possible. I will never again need another book on marriage.
This book gained us more than months of counseling. September 9, 2006
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
I checked out this book from the library and am giving it as gifts to newlyweds and old married folks alike for anniversary and wedding gifts. It is so easy to forget these basics in the demands of kids, family, work and life. The evaluation lists give lots of food for thought and conversation topics to delve into like you used to when you were dating. The book cuts to the chase and can be broken into "chewable parts". We've been in and out of counseling for 3 years - just trying to adjust some things before we jumped the track completely. I also like that the terminology is open-minded enough to work for same sex couples as well and man/woman couples. It would make love bank points to have your spouse see you reading this book and wouldn't hurt any relationship.
A Refreshing Challenge and much reason for Hope. July 12, 2006
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
"Fall in Love, Stay in Love" puts in a pretty good nutshell all of the major points that Dr. Willard Harley draws out in his earlier publications like "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters;" and as described in many of the first eight reviews that are already here on Amazon.com.
Dr Harley's work can be both refreshing and a rude awakening (as "A Reader" discovered) because Dr Harley is one of the few marriage counselors who is actually...successful! And consistently successful. He is also unlike some of the more well-known marriage counselor/authors in that he has not failed multiply in his own marriages. He has only been married once and that marriage is still going strong. Unfortunately for us, this means that he, like anyone else after 43+ years of marriage(!), probably will not be among us many more decades.
Thus, Dr Harley's premises may also be shocking because they are against the grain of many of the not so successful, but very popular marriage counselor/authors. Dr Harley's premises are clearly against very popular notions that attack traditional marriage. Those popularized notions and activities include cohabitation, pre-marital sex, every other fornication and several forms of independent behavior (one of the "Love Busters"). Hence, he and his concepts are successful and most of the others' concepts are not.
Have no fear. Though this book can be shocking (as again, "A Reader" discovered), it is only a "nutshell" of Dr Harley's work. He continues to be a great champion of marriages, improving many and saving at least ten thousand. That is news that the media at large should broadcast. It probably will not because successful marriage notions are not popular in a society that is less and less capable of sustaining marriages; and more and more apt to attack them. Dr Harley's website www.marriagebuilders.com provides all of the material in all of his books online, for FREE (as if you couldn't just go to the library to check out the materials). Some information is too good not to give away for free. He has been such a champion of marriages, that of course, his own counseling is nearly impossibly booked. So he tries to work only with couples whose marriages look the most impossible to save! He saves them (it's not easy but neither is marriage itself--a commitment to "extraordinary care for your spouse," and the stipulation is that you do what Dr Harley outlines), or you get your money back. That's his guarantee for his workshops and seminars too.
If your own marriage has made some terrible turns, Dr Harley's work can pull you out of those turns, even affairs.
So have no fear for more reasons. His seminars and materials are available for everyone. His kids, his kids' families (100% successful marriages on the first tries) and great associates are carrying-on the torch very well. The materials and counseling pick-up where the books might merely make a beachhead and not go far enough. They work on the same premises nevertheless. Moreover, the marriagebuilders website has a forum function where you can look at many others' anonymous questions and Harley's feedback to tackle things that the books do not.
"Dear Abby" type advice columnists and separation advocates should step aside. They are cop-outs that do not know and do not care how to help peoples' marriages succeed. They too quickly advocate separation for the dumbest reasons.
Don't try to please blindly. April 1, 2006
11 out of 11 found this review helpful
Willard F. Harley author of Fall in Love, Stay in Love, writes that marriage partners have ten emotional needs.
Here is the problem. Dr. Harley says that a woman's top five emotional needs and a man's top five emotional needs often don't overlap. When you think about it, you then have a problem. To fulfill your spouses' needs you will have to fill needs that aren't that important to you. If your spouse's needs were the same as yours, it would be easy. You would fulfill your own needs while at the same time fulfilling your partner's. If for example, you both had a strong need for conversation, you could talk to your spouse and be satisfying yourself while fulfilling one of your spouse's important emotional needs,
But, if your top five emotional needs are different than the top five emotional needs of your spouse, then you will only fulfill your spouse's emotional needs if you work at it.
Dr. Harley states that when people first date, they have two rules: I will do whatever I can to make you happy and I will avoid doing whatever makes you unhappy. Dr. Harley calls this, I will do whatever I can to make love bank deposits and I will whatever I can to avoid making love bank withdrawals. Sometime later the emphasis changes from I will do what ever makes you happy and avoid anything that makes you unhappy, to I will do whatever makes me happy, and avoid doing whatever makes me unhappy. Follow that second set of rules and you will have marital problems in a fairly short time.
Keeping a proper Love Bank balance requires you to fulfill your spouse's most important emotional needs. That may not be too difficult when you are madly in love. You will then do anything then to make you partner happy and avoid making your spouse unhappy.
But once you are no longer madly in love, it becomes difficult to fulfill needs that really aren't that important to you.
So how do you fulfill needs that if you are not madly in love? The marriage ceremony recognizes that love is not just a feeling, it is also a decision and commitment. You make a vow to love your spouse. That vow recognizes that love is not just a feeling.
Most people then use their commitment to try to make their spouse happy. Some are insightful enough to realize the differing needs and attempt to satisfy those needs. A lot of people stumble blindly when they attempt to make their spouse happy because they do not recognize the inherent problem. His needs are different than her needs. If that difference isn't known, or isn't respected, and if no effort is made to determine what the needs are and the most effective way to meet those needs there is bound to be a lot of pain, a lot of resentment and disappointment.
The magic may magically be gone.
But how do fulfill needs that if you are not madly in love? The first way is commitment. Dr. Harley also has another insight. You don't have to sit down every day and ask, "How will I meet my spouse's needs?"
He points out the importance of habits. It may take two or three months to be comfortable with a new habit, but make the effort and then it becomes effortless.
Build habits, of when you first lie in bed in the morning. to how you eat breakfast together, to how you hug and kiss before leaving for work that all create connections. Build those habits around your spouse's most inmportant emotional needs. By taking the time to develop these habits you will have created habits that sustain romantic love. Dr. Harley's insights can change any marriage. I highly recommend reading his books.
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